How to Feel More Confident in Hijab
Embrace your tiara
Embracing the Journey
I want to start by acknowledging that, like our faith, hijab is also a journey. Your interest in learning how to feel more confident in hijab is already a good start or a point of progress for growing on your path.
You may or may not have heard it before, but this is a reminder that the hijab is more than just fabric we wrap ourselves with.
In my opinion, it symbolizes where we are at in our spiritual journey. It may indicate where we are in terms of our relationship with Allah, ourselves, and the dunya (world).
A lack of confidence in wearing hijab may feel like a barrier to your hijab journey. However, it may be helpful to gently embrace this barrier as simply being a part of the struggle and growth.
Every obstacle we face can serve as an opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow in our faith.
In this post, we will explore the potential causes of lacking confidence while wearing hijab. Additionally, we will provide guidance and practical strategies to help you feel more confident and empowered in your hijab journey.
Roots of Hijab Insecurities: External, Internal, and Spiritual Factors
There are a range of reasons why someone may not feel confident in hijab. We will break it into (3) categories, External, Internal, Spiritual:
External Perceptions and Societal Pressures:
Judgment and Stereotyping:
Feeling self-conscious due to being a visible minority and facing societal stereotypes that portray hijab-wearing women as uncivilized or oppressed.
Experiencing discrimination or prejudice in public spaces, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and discomfort.
Visibility:
Wearing hijab makes women more noticeable in public spaces, which can lead to heightened self-awareness and anxiety about how others perceive us and whether people are looking at us.
Social Comparison:
Observing how others wear their hijab or present themselves can sometimes lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Women might compare their style, confidence, and overall appearance to those they see, including those who do not wear hijab.
This comparison can contribute to a sense of insecurity.
Fear of Criticism:
The fear of negative remarks or unsolicited opinions can foster self-doubt in Muslim women.
This apprehension may prevent Muslim women from fully embracing their hijab and presenting their true selves.
Let's Get Personal
This category probably resonates with a lot of Muslim women. I especially felt the above experiences when I was visiting a foreign Latin country in July of this year.
There came a point that I wanted to hide in my hotel because I got tired of people looking, laughing, and making comments.
I also got tired of the questions because truth be told, I just wanted to be left alone without needing to explain myself continuously.
By the grace of Allah, this trip was transformative and helped me gain greater strength and determination in my hijab.
Through the struggle, it is precisely what I needed to feel more confident in my faith and hijab. Right when things felt heavy, I came across this ayah in my prayer, and I cried my eyes out:
Allah will never leave us to go through a difficult situation when we are doing something for His sake without supporting us through the journey and uplifting us in miraculous ways.
It took me reframing my mindset from victim to being grateful that Allah chose me to be the one to expose this country to Islam and dismantle false narratives about Islam and Muslim women.
I think all of us including you have had a point or several points in our hijab journey that were testing.
Internal Struggles, Doubts, and Misconceptions:
Internal Doubts
Having internalized negative views about hijab, such as associating it with misogyny or oppression, which can lead to feelings of embarrassment and insecurity.
This may lead someone to wear a hijab without fully appreciating or understanding it, which could result in struggles with feeling positive and confident about their choice to wear it.
Beauty Standards
Some people may question their appearance and think that wearing a hijab takes away from their beauty. They often base their views on society’s standards of beauty.
Self-Esteem Issues
Struggles with our self-esteem and relying on the approval of others to feel good about ourselves can cause us to not feel confident in our hijab.
Spiritual State
State of Iman
Feeling disconnected from one’s faith or unsure about the spiritual significance of hijab, which can impact one’s confidence in wearing it.
Intention
Lack of clear intention can result in wearing the Hijab for reasons other than the sake of Allah.
When the intention is not solely for Allah, it may lead to decreased confidence in wearing the Hijab.
Potential Impacts of Lacking Confidence in Hijab
Cultural Assimilation
We may attempt to assimilate into society and adjust our hijab to fit societal standards, ensuring that we don’t appear “too religious.”
People Pleasing
We may feel the need to please others in order to gain acceptance from non-Muslims or to convince them that we are “normal” like them. (Lol, I am sure many of us can recall some cringe-worthy memories).
We may also feel an inappropriate responsibility to ensure others feel comfortable. I like to remind myself that it is not my job to make other people feel comfortable.
However, there is a balance to consider, as we should strive to empathize with those who may not be knowledgeable about Islam.
Societal Pressure
We may feel pressured to compromise our hijab in order to fit in.
Additional consequences may consist of lower self-esteem, depression and anxiety, social isolation, and decreased interpersonal skills.
Strategies: How to Feel More Confident in Hijab
1. Reframing our Perspective: Viewing Hijab as a Form of Jihad
Recognize that wearing hijab can be seen as a personal struggle (jihad) in the journey of faith, mirroring the challenges faced by our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his companions in their commitment to Islam.
2. Finding Pride in Our Modest Wear:
Reflect on the strength and resilience of our mothers and the women of the ummah (may Allah be pleased with them all) , drawing inspiration from their experiences and finding pride in being part of the ummah of Muhammadﷺ.
Let’s make an effort to read more about our mothers and female companions through books and online video series.
3. Carrying the Banner of Islam:
Embrace the idea that wearing hijab is akin to carrying a banner of Islam, representing our faith and values for the world to see. This perspective can foster a sense of pride and responsibility.
4. Balancing Being Unapologetically Muslim and Empathic:
Acknowledge that while it is not our responsibility to make others comfortable, it may be helpful to empathize with those who may lack knowledge about Islam.
Strive to find a balance between being unapologetically Muslim and being understanding of others’ perspectives.
Let us try to use every chance we can to share the message of Islam with others. This is something I personally need to improve on.
5. Reflecting on Intentions:
Regularly remind yourself of the reasons and intentions behind wearing hijab. This self-affirmation can reinforce your commitment and boost your confidence. We are doing this for our Rabb as an act of obedience, love, and worship.
6. Self-Reflection:
Ask yourself who you are trying to feel more confident for: Is it for yourself ? Is it for your relationship with Allah, or is it influenced by external expectations?
Understanding this can help clarify your motivations, set clear intentions, and strengthen your commitment.
7. Recognize That It’s a Journey:
Understand that building confidence and strength in our faith is a gradual process.
There will be ups and downs along the way, but it is essential to be patient with yourself.
Acknowledge that many challenges do not have quick solutions and that personal growth often requires living out your unique story.
8. Explore the Sources of Insecurity:
Take time to identify what causes your feelings of insecurity in hijab.
Consider whether these feelings are internally influenced (e.g., concerns about beauty), externally influenced (e.g., reactions from others or social comparisons), or spiritually influenced (e.g., feeling weak in faith or lacking knowledge).
9. Strengthen Your Faith:
Actively work on strengthening your relationship with Allah by engaging in acts of worship, prayer, and reflection.
Consider reflecting on His names, attending halaqas, and listening to podcasts. There are many ways to seek closeness to Allah.
This spiritual growth can provide a solid foundation for developing confidence in your hijab.
10. Build Confidence and Self-Esteem:
Focus on activities and practices that enhance your self-esteem. Incorporating self-care routines can enhance our confidence.
Taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential for building a positive self-image.
I always try to make Sundays my beauty and relaxation day.
When you feel good about yourself physically and mentally, it can translate into a more confident presentation while wearing hijab.
Click here to read my post on building confidence.
11. Seek Supportive Friendships:
Surround yourself with women who confidently wear hijab and motivate you to be better.
Building friendships with sisters in your community can provide encouragement and inspiration.
Consider attending gatherings at the masjid to connect with other sisters. This is my personal favorite; there is truly nothing like sisterhood.
12. Seek the Support of Allah:
Regularly ask Allah for guidance and assistance in your journey towards confidence in hijab.
Seek His help in navigating the challenges you face.
13. Commit to Continuous Learning:
Keep educating yourself about hijab and modesty in Islam.
Understanding the spiritual significance and teachings surrounding hijab can help align your outward expression with your faith, bringing peace and ease to your heart.
By embracing your hijab journey and taking deliberate steps, and only with the help of Allah, can you can build the confidence and strength needed to wear hijab with pride and conviction. May Allah keep us all steadfast in our hijab and increase us in modesty.
Recommended Readings:
A collection of biographies of the noble female Companions of the Messenger of Allahﷺ.
Click here for a pdf copy.
What advice would you give to someone who is considering wearing hijab but feels insecure about it? Comment below!
AISSATA
This is a beautiful topic, it definitely took me time to become more confident in my hijab.
I would tell my sister who is considering to wear hijab but is hesitant congratulations. You desiring the change for the sake of pleasing Allah is beautiful. I would then tell her to not loose track of her intention, to make dua for ease, repent and take baby steps towards modesty if needed.
Two things that helped me was unfollowing hair accounts on social media and remembering that death can come to me at any time.
edelynm2017
MashaAllah, your response is so beautiful. Allahuma Barik! I love your mentioning of repentance and I think unfollowing hair accounts is so smart!