How to Cope with Sadness: From a Muslim’s Girl Perspective
Bismillah. Allah has blessed us with many emotions that guide us and help us understand and connect with ourselves, the world, others, and Him سبحانه و تعالى.
Imagine a life without emotions; they add color to our lives and experiences!
While some emotions, such as sadness, are less desirable, we will inevitably experience them, and it helps us to know how to cope with sadness when it knocks on our door.
When we don’t know how to cope with sadness, it can consume us or linger longer than necessary.
Sadness may then take the driver’s seat and control our days.
As my supervisor said, “Emotions are wonderful servants and terrible masters”
To address this issue, let’s explore how we can take proactive steps to cope and manage with emotional sadness.
A Part of the Human Experience: Sadness
Feeling sad is not an unfamiliar emotion to any of us. It is a part of the human experience, and our emotions make us human.
Factors
Sadness often arises in response to life’s difficulties, such as loss or relationship issues.
It can also be a reaction to specific triggers or situations, such as thinking of memories or remembering past experiences.
It may be a response to physiological factors such as hormone imbalances, our monthly menstrual cycles, and vitamin deficiencies.
Sometimes it can even be unexpected without an obvious trigger! I can definitely relate to this, can you?
It’s important to tell the difference between short-term sadness, which is usually linked to specific factors, and an ongoing low mood that might be a sign of depression.
Recognizing this difference is key for taking care of your emotional health.
If sadness continues for a long time or becomes too much to handle, seeking help from a professional can be an important step for improving your mental well-being.
Harnessing Sadness
Many of us experience trigger emotions, which I describe as specific emotions that provoke an intense response.
These emotions often lead us to seek comfort or to escape from them.
For example, anger is not a trigger emotion for me, whereas sadness is.
I remember times (not long ago, lol) when I dealt with sadness by emotionally checking out for the rest of the day, eating unhealthily, and getting nothing done.
If I don’t address my sadness proactively when it arises, it can create a snowball effect that worsens my mood and leads to a cycle of negativity throughout the day.
However, if I manage this emotion appropriately, I often end the day on a more positive note. Alhamdulillah.
How Not to Cope with Sadness:
It’s important to recognize that not all coping mechanisms are healthy or effective.
Here are 6 ways not to cope with sadness and the potential negative impacts they can have:
1. Pretending to Not Be Sad:
Suppressing your sadness by ignoring, minimizing, avoiding, or stuffing it down can lead to emotional buildup.
This buildup may result in intense outbursts or physical symptoms such as headaches and fatigue.
Unexpressed emotions do not simply vanish; instead, they can manifest as irritability, anger, or even health problems.
It is crucial to find healthy ways to express and process your feelings.
2. Compulsive Escapes:
Using activities like overeating, overworking, gaming, or mindlessly scrolling on your phone to escape from or numb sadness can provide temporary relief.
However, they do not address the underlying issue.
These behaviors may lead to addiction, guilt, and further emotional distress.
3. Not Making Attempts to Improve Emotional State:
Neglecting to address your emotional state can lead to lasting sadness.
It’s crucial to actively find ways to manage and cope with your feelings.
4. Abandoning Obligatory Worship and Spiritual Practices:
Abandoning our prayers will lead to a deeper sense of loss and disconnection.
Not engaging in acts like reading the Quran or making supplications means missing out on their benefits during tough times.
Maintaining our faith connection provides comfort and honors our covenant with Allah.
Even if you do not find that comfort, inshaAllah, you will receive greater rewards for staying obedient despite challenges.
5. Not Asking for Help or Insight:
Not reaching out for support when feeling sad can lead to loneliness and isolation.
It’s crucial to seek support from friends, family, or professionals during difficult times.
Having that validation and outside perspective from supportive others makes a big difference for me.
6. Judging Yourself for Feeling Sad:
Self-criticism can intensify feelings of sadness and create a negative cycle.
It’s essential to practice self-compassion and accept that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes.
10 Healthy Alternatives to Cope with Sadness
Instead of resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms, take opposite action and consider these 10 healthier alternatives:
- Redefine Sadness
Acceptance: Recognize that sadness is a normal and valid emotion.
Instead of labeling emotions as “negative” or “bad,” see it as a part of the human experience.
Emotions are neither inherently good nor bad; they are simply signals from our inner selves.
Non-Judgmental Awareness: Practice observing your emotions without judgment.
This can help you understand your feelings better and respond to them more effectively.
Embracing your emotions and acceptance can go a long way!
- Spiritual Practices
Quran: Reading or listening to the Quran provides comfort and healing to the heart and we need to have yaqeen (certainty) in that.
Surah Ad-Duha or Surah Ash- Sharh, for example, can be particularly soothing during times of sadness.
It’s also helpful to read Surah Yusuf, as it can help us put our situation into perspective.
Prophetic Sunnah: Following the example of our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ , such as making Talbina, a soothing barley-based dish, that provides emotional comfort.
Click here for a recipe I enjoyed.
- Identify Triggers
Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on what might be triggering your sadness.
Is it due to a recent change? Is it due to your cycle? Is it due to engaging in something displeasing to Allah?
Keeping a journal can help you track patterns and identify specific triggers while helping you take the best course of action.
- Seek Support
Talking to Someone: Share your feelings with someone who will listen without judgment.
This can provide emotional relief and help you gain perspective.
- Dua, Salawat, Istghfar
Make Dua: Make sincere supplications to Allah, asking for comfort and relief from your sadness.
Take refuge in Allah from the source of your sadness.
Send Salawat: Send blessings upon the Prophet Muhammadﷺ
This can bring peace to your heart and bring additional blessings to your life.
Make Istighfar: Seek the forgiveness of Allah.
It not only helps in seeking forgiveness for our sins but also provides comfort and solace during times of sadness and distress.
It can help when we can’t pinpoint the reasons for our sadness as well.
- Be of Service to Others
Bring Joy to Others: Engage in acts of kindness, such as making a donation, lending an advice, or helping someone physically.
This can shift your focus from your own feelings and promote feelings of joy and fulfillment.
This is one of my personal favorites.
- Physical Activity and Routine
Sunlight and Exercise: Regular exposure to sunlight and physical activity can significantly improve your mood.
Even small steps, like a short walk, can make a difference.
Daily Schedule: Have a schedule written down for the day and stick to it so that even if you’re feeling sad, you can still follow through with your obligations.
This may then help you foster feelings of accomplishment and empowerment.
This strategy helps me stay focused on my low days instead of dwelling and becoming stuck in my emotions.
- Setting Goals
Purpose: Setting a goal, such as memorizing a new Surah, can provide a sense of purpose.
It can also distract you from your feelings while helping you power through the day, alhamdulillah.
Future Plans: Make plans for the future, even if it’s just for the weekend.
Having something to look forward to can provide hope and motivation.
- Gratitude and Positivity
Positive Focus: Tap into gratitude and try to look for the positive in your situation instead of focusing on how sad you feel.
Remember what you pay attention to grows!
Being grateful to Allah makes it easier for us to be patient through tough times.
- Emotional Mastery
Non-Attachment to Emotions: Make the intentional choice not to be enslaved by your emotions.
Recognize that while emotions are valid, they do not have to dictate your actions and deeds.
This hadith profoundly impacted me and encouraged me to make better choices when feeling sad:
Externalizing Emotions: Cry to yourself, cry to others, and cry to Allah.
You might also consider watching something on YouTube that can evoke tears, such as searching for “sheikh crying during recitation.”
Am I the only one that does this??? Lol…
Alternatively, allow yourself to cry while listening to the Quran or watching stories of converts to Islam.
I love watching the stories on this channel, so uplifting:
Choosing Different
By integrating these practices into your daily life, you can manage sadness more effectively and cultivate a sense of peace and resilience.
Remember, it’s okay to feel sad, and taking proactive steps to care for your emotional well-being is a positive and empowering choice.
May Allah aid you and aid me. Love you for the sake of Allah sis, XOXO.
What helps you when you’re feeling sad? Comment below!
Click here to learn how to cope when feeling low in faith.
Rahma Hamada
Not you watching sheikh crying during recitation to cry along 😂 love you! But for real though , this post is so nurturing and contains so many beautiful information . I was enjoying it while reading Mashallah ❤️ we demand the Talbina recipe RIGHT NOW ! You are the best